We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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