So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
