'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
