you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
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My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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