1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
