Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
