i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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