I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
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