wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
