That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
accomplished twins. life is a go
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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