I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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