He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
