We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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