I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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