Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
