Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
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I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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