I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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