that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
