so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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