so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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