she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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