Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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