i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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