you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
