No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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