He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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