we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
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They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
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If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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