they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
