but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
lol hangovers are for mortals.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
