just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
