Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
