he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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