That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
