I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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