Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
