Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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