if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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