i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
