just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
