Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
