I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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