I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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