all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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