dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
