the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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