and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
