sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
