Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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