dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
