im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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