I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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