Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
