is wine microwaveable?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
