You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
