First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Sext me about skeletons
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
