So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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