I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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