Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
How external is "for external use only"?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The uberlube is also flammable
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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