I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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