To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
