it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
