I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
