I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
either way he was missing a nipple.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
